Tommy

by Wendy Golenbock

Our iguana arrived in 1995. He was given to our five year old as a birthday present. The present was part of a challenge in the ‘most obnoxious gift competition’. Can you picture it? I get my friend’s son a drum set, she buys my son a karaoke set, I get her son a Ninja turtles toy off the recalled Xmas list, and finally she purchases my son an iguana replete with two hundred dollars worth of heating lamps and hot rocks. Clearly, hands down she won. She told me that she got absolutely every accessory to keep me out of the store and unable to return the animal.  One week later, when the iguana became “toilet” trained in a pan in the shower, I was hooked. My two dogs and three cats were older and very disinterested in my iguana. My birds took no notice. My son, Max, was captivated and named the green monster, Tommy, after Power Ranger hero Tommy, who not incidentally was the GREEN ranger. Bright boy, that five year old. He told us he chose the iguana over the tarantula, figuring that we would draw the line at spider ownership. In the past eight years, the iguana has wandered the house without worry. In the fall and winter, the last of the elderly pets went to pet heaven. The acquisition of rescue cat, Feng Shui, and insane puppy, Alfa Betty (named for the screen writer of Mel Brooks’ the Producers) brought chaos to all especially Tommy, who is less than thrilled by being accosted every time she leaves her cage. Both kitty and puppy are enthralled by Tommy and want to play tag with her-Tommy turned out to be female. Tommy wants to swat the babies and hides more quickly than before the baby invasion. Max, at thirteen, is fabulous with his brood- playing ‘dog food soccer’ with the cat, running with his new puppy and bathing his iguana. We were very surprised that the kitty was so fascinated by the iguana as our elderly cats were totally disinterested. Now when Tommy wanders Feng is outdoors. When Feng comes inside, Tommy goes straight to the cage for the safety of both of them. While I had hoped that Feng would be an indoor cat, she didn’t agree, and as a side benefit, she exercises the puppy for me. Oh, and Feng still licks her lips when she gazes at the parakeet, Peppermint, who will never be able to fly around the living room as her predecessor did.